The more I learn, the less I understand

Well, Here I am. I am making the time to sit and write. Not so much a hardship for me. I love to write (and procrastinate). Have always loved to write (and procrastinate).  I love words. I get it from my Mother who is a fantastic writer. Both my children are fantastic writers. As they mature, I read their words and am amazed. I look for hints that they copied and pasted. But there are words and phrases and ways of describing things that have their finger prints. So I stick to amazed that they have developed into who they are "despite" me.

When our children are born, we have an idea of the 'blueprint' we envision their lives will be like. Then the reality of living gets involved and lets face it, we don't always make the right choices, or have the information, ways or means, to make them either. And life starts rewriting the 'blueprint'. I am introspective today because I am awaiting the birth of my second granddaughter. We are on the clock. According to the Dr., it will be this week. Either the way nature meant it, or induced. I don't think so "smuckin futch" of the last option. Where once it was used for extreme medical complications, it is now used as a convenience tool. I am a firm believer in NATURAL procession. When the BABY and the mother's BODY are ready, the baby will be born. I fear complications if this order is not followed. No matter how much science likes to think "IT" came before the egg, I believe otherwise. The Baby's body's survival outside the mother, and the stages and hormonal releases the Mother's body goes through are NECESSARY for the physical and mental health of both. When it's time, it's time, and not before. End of story.

So I am hoping and praying nature wins. And the Dr. is wise enough to see the difference. So I have the heightened awareness that this may be the last calm Sunday I will have for a while. If we make it though the day without "the call". If and when, all hell will break loose. I will take charge of my 7yr old Granddaughter while trying to be involved in the support of my new Granddaughter and her Mother. My only daughter. She plans to have GD #1 be as involved in the miracle as the hospital will allow. Which is not something I think is wise, but I have learned, it isn't my call unless my gut tells my head, it is time to take over. Which is a hard call. It isn't my family, it is my daughter's to create as she sees fit. I have had to (through many great bruising of my ego) to learn the difference between my own desires being broadcast or my gut instinct telling me to step up. And I am praying the hospital has a strict policy so I don't have to make the call and be the bad guy. I am also a coward. Or pacifist. Or chicken **it. I don't care how it's viewed as long as the right decision is made, and my daughter can't hold it against me.

One of my "fresh steps" I will enforce in my new quest for a healthier life style, will be none of my "special" treats in the house until I can get a handle on my snacking. My husband, thinking he was being loving and sweet, went out this morning while I still drooled on my pillow and bought sausage kolachi's and my all time favorite __"Apple Fritter"__. I can excuse the kolachi. But when I started nibbling on the fritter, so I didn't hurt hubby's feelings, (they need all the atta-boys they can get for training purposes ... oh don't groan and judge me or think bad thoughts, you know it's true) I snorted my coffee and almost choked, spewing my coffee all over myself. Gawd, don't you just HATE when that happens?! My "higher self" must have thought it was helping me.... busy body .... See if I tell it anything anymore....

OK, just reread and corrected spelling, sentence structure and punctuation, ( I know! and to think it still sucks this bad!!!) it is time to stop procrastinating. I have to go clean the bedroom. I haven't put away laundry, vacuumed, or cleaned the damned room since last year! Yeah, I know we are only so many days into the new year, but I mean before Thanksgiving .... give or take a few months. Hubby doesn't say anything because for one, he's a slob too, and two, if he doesn't mention it, he isn't responsible for cleaning it. See, someone has been training someone here.... (now don't you feel silly for those harsh words you thought earlier?).

I may say simple/silly things about my hubby. But he really is a good one. One of the best and I respect him and cherish the day we met.  The women in my family are all headstrong, stubborn and opinionated. But we are never boring. Our husbands are Saints for being able to put up with us and love us in spite of our 'inconsistencies". I said that nicely. But I know the truth. May be one of the only times I will admit it and or put it in writing. But it's OK. He won't read this, so I am safe.

Happy Sunday to All and to All a Good Day