The more I learn, the less I understand

Well, my promise to sit and write something every day lasted two whole days! But I can be excused ... I am now the brand new Nana to a beautiful little Girl. Which I missed being born.... Pisses me off, but am going to put it behind me... trying....

Daughter kept saying, no, Mama, stay home. I'll call when it gets closer ( it was 2:30 am) ..... of course couldn't sleep.... couldn't work. Picked up GD #1 (7yrs) and brought her to the house. Put her to sleep. Couldn't sleep, couldn't work, couldn't watch TV, couldn't read.... couldn't do anything... should be there with daughter.... so the day goes.... decide to run up to the store to get sleeping GD set of clothes because they didn't send change. Left her still sleeping with youngest son. At the store I called HER to see if she needed me to pick anything up and she said, well, they're calling the Doctor, I'll call you after they leave. I said No, I am coming up. I went home, dropped off the clothes, #1 GD still asleep, leave her and head that way. Almost there and son in law calls, she's already born! grrrrr, I cussed maybe 10 minutes straight. I was so angry with myself because I didn't listen to my instinct 3 hours earlier and just go up there anyway.

I missed my first grandchild's birth. I had missed the first's because there was a tornado the night she was born and it cut electricity for miles. We were hearded into the waiting room in with flashlights to wait. And the excitment must have been enough to 'hurry' up the labor efforts and she was born by flashlight and back up generator emergency lights. My own little Texas Tornado. And is she too .....

I know my daughter isnt going to have another. Lucky she had the 1st one, much less to be doubly blessed. She told me in her 20's she didnt want to have kids. Seperated from her best friend WHILE she was pregnant with the first one. Then met this nice man, married him, said No Mama, no more babies.... then almost 2 yrs later, I get the 2nd blessing. I know not to stretch my luck.

Kids.... you think, Please Dear Lord, just let me get them grown and out of the house.... you may get them out of the house, but they are always in your business......curse or blessing... ask me some other day... to day she is my blessing ...or at least the "care taker" of two.